Zoe's Birth

I have written the birth stories of my other three kids, but am just now getting around to writing Zoe's. Hers was by far the most traumatic for me, but here is the story...

It was Adam's first year of law school and we had just moved to Mississippi. I had been at my new $8 an hour job about 3 weeks when we found ourselves staring at a stick with two pink lines on it. Oh no, that can't be right. That was the cheap, Wal-Mart brand test, so it was probably not right. So, I headed to the store to purchase the expensive EPT brand. Yep. More pink lines. Adam and I were both 22 years old at the time and had a brief moment of excitement before reality kicked in. We went to O'Charleys and had dinner and rented the movie Nine Months. The next morning, well, that's when reality set in. One person working, one person a full time student, living in Mississippi, where we only knew two people, no health insurance, yada yada yada and the list goes on. Not only did I not have health insurance, I did not have a doctor. And, I didn't know anyone in Mississippi to ask about a good doctor. So, Adam's mom suggested that we visit a Christian, crisis pregnancy center and they would at least be able to point me in the direction of a good doctor. Not a bad idea. This pregnancy was definitely a crisis.
So we went to the crisis pregnancy center. We were probably their dream come true. A married couple who had no intention of terminating the pregnancy. So they did another pregnancy test (the three I had done at my house didn't count) and then gave me a boatload of helpful information. Seriously, this was the most helpful place ever. They got me registered as a patient with some of the best doctors around, who took anyone this crisis pregnancy center sent them because the doctors themselves were wholly dedicated to the pro-life cause. Then,I applied for Medicaid in Madison County, Mississippi and we were able to breath a sigh of relief.
The pregnancy itself was uneventful and we all of a sudden found ourselves in the month of April. Zoe was due on May 21. First year finals for law school were in the last week of April and ended on May 5. During the third week of April, you guessed it, I start having contractions. I tell my doctor, and sure enough, I am 2-3 centimeters dilated. Doctor tells me not to do unnecessary walking, no sex, no Mexican food, etc. I am confident I will make it until after exams. Adam is not so confident. Since he is not allowed to bring cell phones into an exam, we coordinated a plan with the secretaries at the school so I could call them and they would go get him, if I needed him. I proceeded to go to work everyday. It was a sedentary job and was hourly, so I didn't get paid if I wasn't there.
Exams came and went with no incident. Two days after his last test, on May 7th, I had a scheduled doctor appointment. She tells me that I am 4 centimeters dilated and do I want to have the baby today? This is the moment where I should have said, "No, I'll just let nature take its course." But, I had heard many stories and this seemed like the best way to do it, right? So, we were instructed to go home, get our stuff and meet her at the hospital. Okee dokee.
We go home, take the dog where he was staying, and head to the hospital. When I get to the hospital, I am now 6 cm dilated. 2 cms in an hour and a half. Progress. They get me all settled in and, for some reason, give me pitocin. No one ever told me that I could say No. No one ever told me that there is no rule that you have to have pitocin. I have since had three other babies without it, and, believe me, they did come out on their own. So I took it. My body doesn't like pitocin. My contractions are now on top of each other and I am in horrific pain. The nurse "helpfully" suggests that I take a narcotic to "take the edge off the contractions." That is code for "making you completely loopy out of your mind, but still very much in pain." Not good. Now I am hurting terribly, but too out of my head to do anything about it.
Finally, when I am between 8-9 cm, I ask for the epidural. The baby's heartrate is going down with contractions and the nursing staff is concerned. I don't know they are concerned, they are doing a good job concealing it. The lady comes to do the epidural. I think she might have thought I was going to wind up needing a c-section, because she gave me enough medicine to put down a horse. I could not feel (or move) anything from my waist down. This will work in the doctor's favor later.
So, the doctor comes in and tells me it is time to push. This is definite evidence of too much epidural, as I can assure you that no one had to tell me it was time to push my other children out! Tons of nurses come in the room. I didn't know this wasn't the normal thing as I had never had a baby before. There is my nurse that's been with me the whole time, another nurse on the right side of the bed, which is also where Adam is standing. This is the nurse who puts her hand on my bottom and tells me to push against her hand. Oh, yes. Push against your hand that I cannot feel. No problem. And then there is a nurse with short black hair, three earrings in one ear and two earrings in the other. I barely remember what anyone else looked like, but this woman, I remember. She is etched on my memory because she was helping me push Zoe out by laying her arm on the top of my belly and pushing the baby down. I distinctly remember looking at her and saying quite rudely, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Yes, I had bruises afterwards. Nice.
Now things are getting a little tense. Zoe's heartrate is really low, but they're trying to get her out without the c-section. Enter the vaccuum sucker thing. This is an instrument used to suck the baby out by creating suction with the top of the baby's head and pulling. This works best if the baby's head is actually engaged and ready to be pulled out. Zoe was not. But they sucked her out anyway and she tore me on the inside and outside. And, out she came a beautiful shade of....BLUE! She was not breathing. Her one minute APGAR score was a 4. She finally started breathing and crying and eventually turned pink. You could almost hear all of the medical personnel in the room exhale. I was so drugged all I said was, "Hey, baby." Slow and slurred. Good thing the baby doesn't remember that.
My doctor, on the other hand, was completely focused on trying to stitch me up. My inner vaginal wall needs to be stitched back together. I cannot begin to explain the pain. I looked at the nurse on my right side and said, "I thought I had an epidural. I don't think it worked or is working. It really hurts." She condescendingly tells me, "That's not pain you're feeling, honey. It's pressure. The epidural can't stop the pressure." Now having given birth naturally, I realize that there is a distinction, but at the time, the doctor had BOTH OF HER HANDS TOTALLY INSIDE OF ME TRYING TO STITCH, SO THIS ANNOYED ME! I wanted to show her pressure up her nose.
This is also the time where it works in the doctor's favor that I cannot move my legs, because I would have for sure kicked her right in the face. She was killing me and not able to get to the spot that needed stitching. They then decide to put me to sleep to finish the stitching. Yes, that's right, I get put to sleep AFTER giving birth. Nope, we couldn't have done that 20 minutes ago. General anesthesia. I wake up an hour later and finally get to hold my baby. She was a teeny little thing, weighing 5 pounds, 15 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long. And she was perfectly healthy. The recovery from Zoe's birth was very long and hard. It was a good two years before I could think about having another baby without breaking out into a cold sweat. But, she was a very easy baby with a sweet disposition and continues to bring joy to us!

My Girls Only Weekend

Last weekend, my sweet husband gave me a weekend away with my dear college friend, Heather. Yes, it was just the two of us! NO KIDS! We met in Nashville (she lives in Memphis) and stayed in a hotel. We went on Friday and stayed until Sunday. It was so much fun! I have never done anything like that before in my life! We just hung out, ate, shopped, went to see New Moon (twice-she is a Twilight fan like me) and, well, just enjoyed being together. I laughed so much! The first night we were there, we got lost trying to find the movie theater, which, of course, was funny to us because neither of us knew where we were. Then, when we found the movie theater, it was actually walking distance from where we had decided we were lost and turned around. By the time we got to the theater, we were both laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt and we both had to go to the bathroom. Then, we go to purchase our tickets for the movie and the lady who is taking our money tells us that their water has been turned off so their restrooms are out of order. So, we buy our tickets and look for somewhere else to go. We see a Subway that appears to be attached to the movie theater. We had gotten a really good parking spot at the movies so we decided to walk to Subway. Turns out that Subway was NOT attached and was quite a bit further than either of us realized. And, it was so cold outside! But it was a pretty funny comedy of errors, to say the least.
We ran into a couple that we went to college with, which was funny too. We had decided in the hotel room that since we were comfortable, we weren't going to change clothes to go to the movie. I mean, who are we going to see? So, I had on my running pants and an old ZTA t-shirt and Heather had on sweatpants and a t-shirt. Nice. And, of course, we see two people we haven't seen in 10 years or so. But, it was good to see them and they didn't even laugh at how we were dressed! :)
Saturday was filled with shopping because it's always fun to shop in a new mall even if the stores are pretty much the same! And Saturday afternoon, we went back to see New Moon again. Saturday night we went to Red Lobster-YUM!!! I don't get to go to Red Lobster very often because Adam doesn't like the smell of seafood, so that was a special treat. After dinner, we just hung out in the hotel room. So much fun.
Sunday, we just got up and headed home, which was sad, but I felt so refreshed and rested. On my way home, I met my friend Kim who now lives in Tullahoma and had lunch at O'Charleys. That was fun too because we also never get together without our kids.
It was a great weekend!!! Thanks to my fabulous husband who let me do it and when I got back, he told me I needed to plan things like this at least twice a year!!! Yay!!!!!

Turkey Trot, Thanksgiving and Anniversary

I ran in my very first 8K (five mile) run on Thanksgiving Day! I was so proud of myself! It was such an amazing, empowering feeling! My goal was to finish and I did finish it! I did it in one hour and 6 minutes and was very pleased with that for my first ever run. I will say that I was absolutely amazed at how far five miles was. When I got to the three mile mark, I couldn't believe that I had two more miles to go! But, I did it. I was so excited! Adam, all the kids, my mom and my friend Christine and her husband and five of her kids were there waiting for me to cross the finish line. It was so neat!

Then, Adam's Dad and nephew came for Thanksgiving, so I got to help mom make the fixings for the meal, which I love to do! It was so much fun!

On Friday morning, I went to work at Target. I love working Black Friday. It is so fun. I don't know why, but I love all the hustle and bustle. The only down side is that I had to be there at 4:30 AM! But it was fun.

Then, Friday afternoon, Adam and I dropped the kids at my mom's house and headed to a hotel downtown to celebrate our 12th Anniversary. We checked in and laid around and watched TV uninterrupted. Then we went to dinner and went to see Christmas Carol in 3D, which was awesome! We really enjoyed it. On Saturday morning, we slept until we woke up (which, of course, was like 8:15) and went to Panera for coffee and breakfast. Then we did some more Christmas shopping and headed back to my mom's house to get the kids. By this time, my brother and his family was here, so we had so much fun visiting with them.

It was a great weekend!

Movie Review

Okay...here it is...my much anticipated review of the movie "New Moon". I went to the midnight showing of it here at our local theater. Our movie complex has 18 theaters in it and all 18 showings of the movie were sold out. There were people everywhere. I have never seen anything like it. There were people in regular clothes, people dressed up, young people, old people (older than me!), men, women, tall, short...well, you get the idea. It was crazy.
So, for the review. I loved the movie! It was so much better than the Twilight movie. It was much truer to the book this time, which was great to see. I have read all of the books...well, I'll just say several times and leave it at that. So, I was going to be very disappointed if they had rewritten the script as much as they did with the Twilight movie. Most of the script was straight out of the book. There were a few things that, of course, had to be condensed, but I liked how they did it.
Also, fortunately, in this movie, our favorite, well dressed vampire is actually well dressed. I'm not sure why Edward wore the hideous black shoes in the first movie, but in this one, he has on much better shoes. He also wears better clothes in this one. He looks so much more like what I pictured in my mind. In Twilight, he sort of has a disheveled look, which is not what I pictured at all. In New Moon, even when he has on just jeans, he looks more clean cut and model-ish.
Also, Bella is better dressed and has brushed her hair more in this one! She does a really good job of conveying the nightmares and the months of depression. Well done.
I was pleased with what they did with the movie and would definitely see it again. I cannot wait until Eclipse comes out!

Running...

Okay, so I am officially addicted to running! I never, ever, ever, ever thought I would ever say that. In fact, I was pretty sure if someone was actually chasing me that I would just give up and let them have me. I never liked running. So a couple of months ago, I started running because, well...it is the best form of exercise that fits into my life. Going to a gym is pretty much not an option since I have all four kids with me and...let's face it...that is just too much work. So, I started running. I had to force myself to do it. And do it again and do it again and do it again.
So, this past weekend, after some strong encouragement from a friend of mine, I decided I would run in an 8K on Thanksgiving Day. Um, yeah...now is when I need to mention that while I have been running regularly for a couple of months, I really had no idea how far I've been running. I would run around my apartment building and would just run for about 30 minutes. So, this morning, I got in my van and drove out a route in my apartment complex that was a half of a mile. And then, I ran three miles! Yes, I had to walk a little bit of it, but I ran at least 80% of it and I never stopped. It was a huge accomplishment for me. I am very proud of myself. It also made me realize that I will be able to finish the 8K next week. Adam has promised to bring the kids to the finish line to meet me when I finish. Now I am very excited. I have never really been an exerciser at ALL. When I was younger, I never had to exercise. I was always small and underweight. Aaaahhh...four kids later and I am no longer small or underweight. So, I decided that I needed to exercise. And, I always eat better on the days that I exercise. I mean, who wants to kill themselves running for 30-45 minutes and come inside and eat candy? No way.

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

So, in the past week, I have said things to my children that I never thought I would say...

To Jude (who tends to have a "potty" mouth, meaning he literally calls people toilet heads):
You can call people watermelon head, but you cannot call anyone a diaper head.

Also to Jude, who was shooting me with a toy machine gun while I was trying to cook supper: (If you don't believe I should let my boys play with toy guns, feel free not to share. Take it up with James Dobson )

Please don't do that to me...Go shoot your brother with the machine gun!

And, yesterday...I was having a real conversation on the phone - you know, the kind where you are talking to someone at an office with a real job, who may or may not have children, who cannot block out the incessant "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" in the background...you know, a conversation with a real person. Fortunately, the person who I talk on the phone with most has more children than I do and is very understanding when I have to put her on "hold" while I deal with whatever life threatening situation my children only seem to find themselves in when I am on the phone.

Anyway, so yesterday I was on the phone. During the seven minute conversation, EACH of my four children interrupted me at one point or another. Yes, that includes the ten year old. I managed not to change my tone of voice while I was talking. I hung up the phone with my children completely oblivious to my intense anger. I began...um...projecting my voice to explain that I was serious about not being interrupted when I was on the phone. I must have had a crazed look in my eye because Sebastian ran under his bed (this is not unusual) and Annabelle and Jude exchanged a look that clearly said, "Oh, man, we have pushed her too far. We really have pushed her over the edge this time!" It was pretty funny to me because I really wasn't yelling very loud and I didn't really say anything except that they absolutely could not interrupt me when I was on the phone. But apparently my eyes said all of the things that I was thinking - You people drive me crazy...why can I never be alone?...Can you not see the phone to my ear?...-but all I really said was,
When I am on the phone, and you see me hold my finger up, that means you cannot talk to me!
And, then I said a very intelligent comment to Annabelle, who was the most persistent while I was on the phone-
Annabelle, don't ask me for anything ever again!

A Brief Update

So I am having a hard time trying to homeschool, keep up with the house work, try to get a decent supper on the table every night and have time to write a blog entry! It is so hard to find the time to write on here!
Let's see...we went to Gulf Shores in September and we had such a great time. It was the first time any of my children had seen the ocean and their reactions were priceless:

Zoe: "Oh my goodness...God is bigger than this?!"
Sebastian: "Awesome"
Annabelle: "Wow!"
Jude: "This is the best day of my life!" and then he began singing the Spongebob song "Best Day Ever!" and skipping around on the beach.

We spent four days on the beach and went out to eat at night. Aside from Adam getting a little sunburn (he hasn't spent a great majority of his summer at the pool like the kids and I did!) we had a wonderful, relaxing vacation.

And, I am still running! I have been able to more than double what I did at the beginning. When I started, I did six laps around my apartment building, but I would walk one, run one...die...breathe...walk one, run one...die...breathe...walk one, run one...come inside barely able to speak and collapse on the couch until I could muster the strength to drag myself into the shower. Now, I am consistently running all six laps (without the dying in the middle) and this morning, I was able to run a seventh lap. I am loving it too...I never understood why anyone would want to run if no one is chasing them. People kept saying it was addicting...I didn't believe them. It is! I am trying not to be frustrated at the slow process, but I have some awesome thigh and calf muscles and other parts of my body are tightening up as well.
I haven't been as diligent about my diet, but now that I am running consistently, I find myself eating better to not destroy all my running! It is getting better, though. Slowly, but surely, I am seeing changes in my body. They are very subtle changes, but I am trying to be very patient.
Other than that, not much else is going on. Adam's practice is going very well and he is enjoying every minute of it. I am enjoying the homeschooling and I was able to take a leave of absence from my job at Target. I like that because I can still go back if I want to, but I'm not working right now.